Walking Around the Mess

Our lives are inextricably entwined with so many other lives. From those who dwell in our places with us to the alien we go through on the street, the picks we do impact many others - and their picks impact us.

So how can I take my ain life if the determinations of so many others impact me? Good question. The reply lies in how you see things.

You can look around and respond to all of the things happening around you and to you. You can travel with a knee joint dork reaction, you can seek to "fix" everything and you can be constantly running in circles counteracting the radioactive dust from determinations other people have got made.

OR you can look around, take stock of the situation, measure your picks and take the way that is right for you. In doing this you can maintain in head that it is not your duty to do everyone happy, nor is it your duty to wipe up up everyone's messes. You make have got responsibilities, and there are modern times when you are the best individual to wipe up up a mess, but not always - even when it's uncomfortable to maintain walking around the messiness and looking at the mess.

I was talking to a friend the other day. She have an aged female parent who dwells alone and who doesn't like to do decisions. She waits for her children to do a determination or take action then kicks about the consequences if she doesn't like it.

In looking at the state of affairs my friend realized that while she makes have got a duty to her mother, she is not responsible for her mother's happiness. So if she offers to drive her female parent to the physician and her female parent won't do an assignment it is not her occupation to happen a doctor, do the assignment and take her female parent there. If asked can she assist happen a doctor? Sure. Can she do the telephone phone call to do an assignment if her female parent desires her to? Yes. The cardinal is to offer then make what you are asked to do.

The other key to peace in this state of affairs is to let her female parent to dwell with the effects of her choices. Again, you can assist her. Just don't travel charging in on your achromatic horse, ordering people around and economy everyone from themselves. Go ahead and be there, sympathize, even program and help with action - just don't take it all upon your shoulders.

It's a mulct line and I'll acknowledge I had some problem determination this line in a few of my stopping point relationships. It took a few years, but now I have got mutually supportive human relationships instead of carrying the load of taking attention of everyone else.